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I am a sinner

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What is this nonsense?

Why do we still find ourselves afraid in 2017…?

As the great John Lennon once said :

 » We live in a world where we have to hide to make love, while violence is practiced in broad daylight. »

These words were spoken over 30 years ago and yet here we are in the same position, living by abstract rules that were set by people who are now mere dusty bones.

We follow the rules that say we must not show our love otherwise we become sinners who are going to turn into ashes within the depth of inferno, that a kiss is a forbidden fruit and that every act of passion will seal our fate.

That’s what we were all taught since our childhood.

And yet, we do it, in the shadows, in a dark alley or even in an empty classroom as long as no one sees, we do it…

But be damned they who are seen, those mingling eyes, judging them, those whispers in the corners calling her a wh*re, a sl*t, an adulterer…

But him? He’s now seen as a hero, a conqueror, some of them even dare boast about it like it’s some kind of achievement, a conquest, no harm befalls him, no words can taint his glory.

Let us free ourselves from these dark shackles, let us all love and make love away from a darkness that taints this beautiful act and makes it a mere sin, one on the level of thievery and murder.

I am no sinner

I am no wh*re

And I am no conqueror…

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« what are you so afraid of losing when nothing in this world belongs to you. »

I think of this quote way often, way more than i should.
Every time the sunset is too beautiful, the trees cast the shadows on the streets, and i catch myself missing old versions of me, of how everything used to be .. every time a train passes by and i just stand there, standing still in a world that’s constantly moving forward.

Every time i raise my eyes to the vast deep blue sky and the stars are flickering with light, a passionate light, showering the world with their magic. Every time the moon is following me down a long heavy road from home to home — a feeling I’ll never get used to. Every time i catch a bird doing its little dance in the misty rain and it all feels a bit too good to be true .. every time a familiar face passes next to me on a road busy with people, with life.

Every time i feel safe, scared, hopeful .. every time i feel, i am reminded of how « nothing in this world belongs to me, and i belong to everything. » Of how i have nothing to lose yet everything to experience .. what a wonderful gift it is that none of this grief i carry between the palms of my hands belongs to me, none of this beauty around me belongs to me. I get to live through it all. I get to experience it all.

Written by: Hadil Khalili

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