À vos plumes
Short story: to the ones we’ve lost, loved before..
Published
5 ans agoon
[simplicity-save-for-later]Names based on records found on the internet, story based on imagination..
As the water poured on him, he stared at his feet, unable to look up, unable to face his reflection.
Twenty years.
After few minutes, he left the shower tube heading back to his room. Yet nothing about him changed. It is covering him still, the smell he’ll never sniff again is still on him, nothing is washed up. It’s stuck there like a second skin; pealing it off hurts, washing it out hurts, but keeping it hurts even more.
Twenty years, and he still plays that night over and over in his head. It was never twenty years ago. It was twenty years ago every passing day.
He didn’t even feel himself fall asleep with his wet towel on, as he started thinking about it all, again.
…
She looked at the sky above; it was summer time, but winter has been here for so long now, and grey was all you could see, no matter how hard you try.
She hurried back home. Soon it will get dark and she can’t be out when it does, not after what happened to her neighbor last week.
» Took you long enough young lady, where have you been all day? » said her mother as soon as she stepped into the house.
She smiled at her sight, as she heard the giggles from the living room as loud as the silence that filled every place for two years now.
» Lennaaaa! » screamed her little brother, stopping her from losing herself in the never ending cycle of worrying, running his way through the kitchen and hugging her legs as if his life depended on it…
After dinner, she headed to her room, lit a candle, and to its dim light, she started writing the letter she have been aiming to write the whole day.
…
Waking up to the sound of screams, firing guns and marching soldiers, Helena felt it was going to be a long night as she hurried out of her room, leaving everything behind.
Smoke, everywhere, sofficating every living being it found on its way. She was no exception.
She coughed. Yet all she was thinking about at that moment was getting to the opposite room.
A matter of life and death.
Preferably life, probably death.
Joeseph.
Unable to spot him in the room, she panicked and started screaming helplessly looking for her brother through the dense smoky room.
« Joe! are you here? »
And then she heard sobs, and she has never been happier to hear him cry.
He was alive.
Hiding under the wooden bed, Joeseph held his small legs tightly to his chest, and cried silently.
« Joe let’s get out, come on! »
« I am scared. » he whispered the words, as if saying them, admitting them, was what scared him, not all of this mess.
She looked into his eyes, those little brown eyes she adored…
Far too young to die.
So with her brother curling in her hands, she made her way out of the now crushed room to the window at the end of the corridor. She saw two bodies pressed against each other, under the ashes across the living room.
A tear escaped her eyes, but it was no time to cry. Her arms tightened around Joeseph; it was time to survive.
Jumping out of the burning house, the sight made her panic : people running everywhere, every way, screaming, crying, some are just staring, probably shocked and others are lying on the ground, probably dead.
She filled her lungs with air that smelled like flames and sweat, then she started running, too.
They knew this was going to happen, but not this soon, not like this, not tonight. She didn’t even finish her letter. Most of the time, we’d like to believe there is one more chance tomorrow, most of the time, tomorrow never comes.
She ran, not caring about her surroundings, not caring about any person around her. She moved almost out of instinct; her body moved, her eyes were on the way ahead of her, her mind completely elsewhere.
She knew where she had to go. They had played this scenario over and over again, and it was just time to act it out, to play, and win their lives.
She closed her eyes for an instant, remembering the sight her mother under the ashes, her father holding her in his arms, and even if it was impossible, she prayed they would make it, she prayed even if she knew so well that God can’t answer.
God, the reason why she lost everything that mattered to her. Believing should’ve never been a crime, a reason to kill. Yet for centuries now, it was. It is. And here they are, all of them, paying the price for a God they will never even see.
And while Helena was lost in her thoughts about God, the devil himself was approaching her from behind.
He started talking to her and pointing at a truck parked in front of the now burning synagogue.
He had blond hair, blue menacing eyes, and as he spoke to her with a foreign language vulgarly, she stared blankly at all the kids that were now in the truck, already wearing the striped uniform.
It’s funny. Sometimes, your whole existence as a human being is alienated by a piece of clothing.
He stopped talking, as if waiting for her to go there while she was just unable to do anything.
Now what.
Hatred begets hatred. (La haine engendre la haine.)
Her eyes never leaving his, she pulled out the knife she hid, always, under her clothes, and before he can even understand what was happening, she stabbed him in the stomach.
Blood, all over her hands, but the sight of red meant there was a chance to make it.
Then she ran fast, taking a side way . She ran as fast as her shaking legs could handle, until she was where she was supposed to be. She saw that some of her little group members, were already there, and she was thankful that they were alive.
» Lena, thank god, hurry inside we are closing the doors in ten minutes », said Isaac, putting his arm on her shoulder as if he knew, consoling her.
» Is Berta here? »
Isaac didn’t utter a word, he just nodded as if he knew what she was thinking, and he did.
» Only ten minutes left Helena, I am sorry. »
And with that, he left her standing there with her now sleeping brother in hands that just took a life away.
If only he could wake up when all of this is done. Would God grant her that wish?
Ten.
She put him down, in the corner of the street, and after placing her own scarf around him, she stood up, and started helping people get inside.
Nine.
She can make it, I swear. She thought, as if to calm herself.
Eight.
But then, it happened too fast, another blue-eyed man smirked her way, holding a shotgun in hand, facing what she cared about the most.
Joeseph.
Seven. Six. Four.
She jumped, too fast that she wasn’t even thinking.
And all of her life flashed in a moment, at that moment, but all her life was that one little face sleeping peacefully in front of her, for so long now, but not enough, she wasn’t saying goodbye, yet.
He was worth dying for, and she smiled feeling the bullet inside of her now, as her body got heavy, as her breath got heavier.. for a second, for the last second, she thought she must smile, because, she won’t give them the satisfaction of killing her crying, of making her brother take the burden, because her last heartbeat told her he will live, for her sake, he will.
Three.
She whispered her last breath, hoping he was awake to hear it
Two.
» I love you” , falling on top of him, as if she could hide him from death.
…..
מען.
(one).
« I love you ».
It was as soft as the wind, but he could hear it, and it was enough to wake him up. He knew the voice, even if it felt eerily far away. He felt her body on top of him, and panicked as her chest wasn’t beating against his fingers as it always did.
No.
He looked instantly at her now lifeless eyes, but before he spilled the tears out, he saw the genuine smile on her pale lips, and he knew it was for him. So he stayed there feeling her warmth, for the last time, fading away, and he knew, that this was the end even if he lived. A hand grabbed his, dragging him inside a building she talked about a lot when he slept secretly with her to keep the nightmares away, while someone cried over her holed body.
The doors closed.
Ten minutes up.
He cried along with people inside.
For the rest of their lives, it was 1941 every day, but it was ten minutes every single minute for him.
And it was a warm smile that makes it okay to cry, because it was so long ago, but every day feels like a new goodbye.
……
He woke up, wore his clothes and drove himself to work.
As if.
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À vos plumes
The Dual Nature of Fear: Protector and Parasite
Published
1 mois agoon
10 octobre 2024 [simplicity-save-for-later]Fear: Friend or Foe?
What if fear isn’t your enemy but your greatest ally? Explore how this powerful emotion secretly shapes your life and might be the key to unlocking your true self.
The Quest for Self-Discovery
As individuals and members of the human race, we should devote our greatest effort to discovering who we truly are. We often arrogantly proclaim to know ourselves better than anyone else, but do we? When we hear the word “fear,” what’s the first thing that comes to mind? It likely conjures images of trauma and negative experiences. This amalgamation of letters has gripped many of us, playing a significant role in our existence.
Fear’s Significance and History
“Fear.” This small word may seem insignificant, yet it is full of meaning and history. Most people deeply care about their lives, and this tendency exists thanks to fear, even if many tremble at the mere mention of it.
The Denial of Fear
As humans, we have a tendency to deny what we don’t understand. We often deny our fear. This is understandable; we are naturally drawn to heroic narratives. Everyone loves tales of bravery and fearlessness. We revel in stories of victory and triumph. So, why should we care about fear?
Fear as a Fundamental Human Trait
Fear is a fundamental aspect of our humanity. What kind of brave person denies their true identity, unless we are discussing cowardice? Fear is a powerful emotion; it can speak without uttering a word. While fear may make us seem weak or inferior, it can also affirm our humanity. Fear serves as both a guardian and a ruler, governing our choices and decisions. And believe me, ruling is no easy task, especially in an unstable democracy of emotions and chemicals.
Fear as a Survival Mechanism
When the kingdom is under attack, fear can override reason and logic to ensure survival, even if the perceived danger is illusory. Fear acts as a musician, playing the drumbeats of our lives, its music resonating with the world around us. This vibration takes hold of the souls of all living beings.
Fear’s Role in Time and Perception
When fear takes charge, we feel our existence connect with the universe. We sense our lives intertwining with something vast and complex. Time slows down, transforming into something else entirely, while our perception sharpens, turning our world into a battlefield.
Fear as the Overprotective Mother
Fear can be likened to an overprotective mother, striving to shield her children, yet her protectiveness may hinder their growth and limit their potential. This complex emotion plays dual roles, serving as both protector and sage.
Fear’s Parasitic Nature
This inherited facet of our evolution influences our daily behaviors and shapes our character. At times, it turns into a parasite, draining our energy and hindering our progress. Unlike typical parasites, this inner fire originates from our own being; it can stifle our movement or compel us to act impulsively.
Fear’s Betrayal in Communication
This force can sometimes act disloyally, betraying its creator. For example, when our fear of judgment undermines our ability to communicate clearly, it jeopardizes our goals ,whether making a good impression or articulating a point. Miscommunication often leads to misunderstandings.
The Overwhelming Force of Fear
Viewing the world from this perspective can be enlightening, even if we cannot prove we share the same perceptions. When fear becomes overwhelming, it can manifest as a mentally unstable individual grappling with severe trust issues. This emotion does not easily relinquish control over our destiny or our capacity for change.
Fear’s Relationship with Learning and Future Prediction
Fear compels us to obsess over predicting the future and learning from the past, as it intensely despises pain, especially when repeated. Fear’s aversion to pain fuels our motivation and imagination, enabling us to predict effectively and avoid obstacles. Surprisingly, fear can accelerate the learning process.
Fear’s Role in Human Beliefs
This complex chemical response empowers human beliefs and convictions, adding a unique spark that transforms them into dogma, shaping our behavior. Fear renders beliefs unquestionable; when we deny our beliefs, we deny our identity. All humans have standards, fortified by fear. Without fear, we are nobody. Fear is, in essence, us.
Modern Fears and Illusions
Our fears of change, rejection, the unknown, failure, loneliness, dissatisfaction, and unmet expectations are illusions that have become overly significant in our lives. While desire undeniably influences these fears, they have overshadowed fear’s original purpose: survival and the preservation of our existence.
Mental Survival in the 21st Century
We still engage in the same primitive survival game, but today’s survival is more mental than physical. In the 21st century, we battle internal dangers and threats. The technological and scientific revolution has shifted our struggles from the external world to our minds.
Emptiness and the Human Spirit
Homo sapiens no longer strive to coexist with the external world; our focus has shifted to mental survival. Humanity, with its problem-solving tendencies, may even create challenges just to enjoy overcoming them. While we abhor pain, we also cannot tolerate emptiness.
Fear and the Freedom of Choice
The human spirit is unaccustomed to emptiness and the freedom of choice. We thrive under pressure. Fear, once selected by nature for survival, has become less useful in a world dominated by peace. Our violent nature, no longer expressed physically, threatens either our destruction or our evolution.
The Inner Predators
If violence once protected us from external threats, today’s predators reside within us. Can we protect ourselves from ourselves and our potential actions? This is a question we must explore.
The Future of Fear
We try to envision virtual dangers to validate fear, but how long can this continue? Is it possible that fear will eventually be selected out by nature and become obsolete? If fear’s only remaining role is in competition, isn’t that more closely related to greed, desire, and humanity’s inherent hunger for power and occupation? Can fear survive in the modern world? That is the question.
Written By: Habib Riden
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