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Make it stop !

molka ben khlifa

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Schools and high-schools, places where we learn, where we make friends, experience new things, make a lot of wonderful memories.. Is that totally true?

A small clarification:

No, it feels like it is missing something.. Something that not the majority of students have been through, and something that, unfortunately, some people think is funny,cool even.

The ugly truth speaks, to wake you up, and make you realize that it’s actually PAINFUL, HURTFUL, SHAMEFUL and UNFAIR.

Have you recognized it? It’s bullying, and yes I was a victim of it.

Waking up every morning, getting dressed, going out, smiling..thinking it’ll be a better day than yesterday..

But I end up crying like a little child, or falling on the gound, or putting on my headphones just to survive through the string of insults stabbing me mercilessly, trying to hold all the pain inside me.

Why ?

I couldn’t find an answer yet.. I still don’t know what’s funny or cool about humiliating other kids and turning their life into hell, how could they possibly think that?

Cool and popular kids were never superior, we were, just as they said, « different » in a way that made us feel like we didn’t belong.

They made us feel uncomfortable and unwanted, even though we blonged to the same school , we felt like we came from another planet.

See? It’s not logical..

Who is in control?

Want to know more about stuff that can get you bullied? Let me list you some:

Being too fat,… or too skinny (yeah)

Wearing glasses or braces

Being a « nerd » which became a trend now

Wearing unfashionable clothes

Being  »ugly »

What?

Yes, being ugly as they say, no make up, a beautiful hairstyle, a sexy and attractive body, fashionable clothes..

But we all know that there is a fact they keep omitting; WE DIDN’T CREATE OURSELVES ..That’s the way we look. Don’t judge people.. You might be getting the wrong image..

They judge you for being unathletic, being single, having different interests (more like listening to rock or metal which makes you a satanist for them or a depressed emo too), sometimes even having a different skin color, and too many other things that really shouldn’t matter this much actually..

By this much, I mean enough to get you punched.. fall on the floor daily.. get your head shoved into the toilet.. spending the night crying in bed, thinking about what prank is waiting for you tomorrow: a ball in the face? Mud all over your clothes? Water balloons? Having to walk through waves of endless silly jokes, bad words, insults.. tearing you apart.. killing you day after day and making you give up on life.. on fun.

Having no one by your side since no one would like to hang out with the « losers », right? Painful, isn’t it?

Sitting alone during lunch, breaks, class, maybe a prank would break that loneliness or you might just end up hungry since they would steal your food.

Your smile, your happiness, passion, ambition, and creativity.

« You’re scaring me.. » « Stop.. » we whispered..

Yes, they make you become numb.. All you did was study, get humiliated, and go home.

I was there, I felt weak and vulnerable because of someone stronger, more powerful or maybe more « popular ».. I couldn’t stop it..

It’s haunting me everywhere.. » useless », « ugly », « male », « guy », « weirdo .. »,  » emo », « flat ».. I won’t mention it all..

It hurts..Do they realize? I kept ignoring their words, replacing them with music flowing in my ears.

Some used me so I would help them get good grades; they pretended to be my friends, but I ended up walking away since they made fun of me whenever they had the chance. Do they enjoy seeing other people crying or bleeding? 

How will we get rid of endless fear?

I can say that you’re to become fake, to follow them. But no, what about you sticking up to whoever you are? How about you show some rage? Some anger? Maybe they’ll make fun of you again or you’ll end up getting hit, but it’s worth it to be honest.

It makes you feel satisfied whenever you think about it.

I tried fighting fire with ice at first, but it only made me melt.. I replaced ice with fire and here I am.

Even though it doesn’t always work. But we need to try and break the ice cubes we caged ourselves in.

Don’t cry.. Instead, show them how bugs could kill lions.

Teenagers suffered and are still suffering from this issue that we don’t discuss a lot but need to..

They’re helpless and depressed, they feel like they’re outsiders, aliens, sometimes even clowns.

All what they will face are isolation years.. But making a decision to change and fight for yourself is a must..

Bullying is unstoppapble.. So are you, and them, everyone who feels or felt the same way as I did.

So it’s useless for you to stand still and watch yourself become emotionless day after day..

What I want to say is, that no matter how desperate you felt, you have to clean up the dust all over your clothes and speak ..

Shout it outloud : » YOU DON’T OWN ME ..AND YOU WILL NEVER OWN ME . I HAVE A LIFE AND IT HAS A PURPOSE, SO STAY OUT OF IT , STAY AWAY FROM ME , ENOUGH PAIN .. ARE YOU DONE YET ? HIT ME HARDER BECAUSE I’M NOT GIVING UP YET. I DESERVE TO BE HERE , YOU’RE NOT BETTER . »

You hear that coming out of different broken souls?

Crying endlessly, running away.. was a solution until we’ve realized it was a useless one..

Make friends who would actually look deeper for how nice and helpful you might be.

How funny and cool you may be ..

Ugliness can hide  »cool stuff » as they say.. Find people who would actually care, and would like to get to know you as a PERSON.

It’s hard to get yourself out of your shell, but it’s more than worth it since you’ll  also get yourself out of a living hell.

Yes, I’ll say it.. Schools and students’ lives are not only about exams or success or grades.. It hides painful memories of people sitting in the corner wishing they could actually laugh or have fun just like the « cool kids ». What if this is actually true?

I would speak forever but I’ll let you finish my words.

Hurt enough to be as happy as I am right now.

Thankful for rising against what I used to call monsters.

 

 

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i like reading books , travelling and sports i play judo and basketball , i sing , i play piano , i study music , i dance (a bit xD) , i like photography and acting , i play video games and watch animes , i study japanese , and i'm a student in FLAH where i study english .. i'm intrested in animes voice acting and i love FOOD

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Chapter 5 : Medea, A fractured halo.

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The heat was unbearable to say the least, a suffocating hand squeezing the very air from my lungs. As if eternal damnation wasn’t torture enough for the inhabitants of this cursed realm.

Tartarus wasn’t for the weak. Or at least, that’s what I gathered from the looks of it. Down here, the whispers of Asphodel and Elysieum were a cruel joke. Every instinct in my body was begging me to turn and flee, until a flicker of movement in the distance snagged my attention, making me halt in my steps. 

Someone was watching me. 

“Mermerus?” a woman’s voice echoed through the abyss, “Mermerus, is that you?”

Words died on my tongue. Though a silver of desperation lingered in her voice, everything about the approaching figure sent chills skittering down my spine. Crimson red robes, the color of spilled blood, clung to her form, a stark contrast to her pale skin. Her untamed black hair almost covered the entirety of her back. Something about her seemed disturbingly primordial. This was no benevolent spirit, no sorrowful soul. This woman was a true creature of darkness, someone who had not simply adapted to Tartarus but seemed to thrive in its haunting embrace.

As she drew closer, I could see the disappointment in her eyes slowly settle in. For I wasn’t Mermerus, nor did I know of this person she despondently wanted me to be.

Mere inches separated us now. She towered over me then reached out her hand to cup my face. Her touch wasn’t one of comfort, but far from it.

“You do look remarkably like him.” She murmured, the softness in her voice a fleeting mirage.

“Who is he?” I managed to let out as she turned around and started to make her way back.

“My child.”

“And where is he now?” I dared to ask.

The sound of her footsteps abruptly stopped. In the deafening silence, she turned, a cruel smile twisting her lips.

“Dead.”  She said, her voice devoid of emotion, “I killed him.”

A minute passed, or maybe an eternity I’m not certain. Those last three words hung in the air between us, words that felt more like a boast than a regretful confession. 

“Oh please, spare me the shock, I’m sick of it, Who are you boy? Did Aphrodite send you to further taunt me? Sending a boy who looks like my dead child is a wicked move I must admit.” 

“No, my lady.“ I gulped, “Forgive me but I don’t even know who you are.”

A notorious laugh escaped her lips. “Gods and their twisted games.“ she spat, a flicker of something akin to boredom flashing in her eyes. “Fine then, I am Medea, Grand-daughter of the sun. Daughter of the sea, Niece to supreme sorceress Circe. Witch.” She took a step closer, forcing me to crane my neck to meet her gaze. “ A mere thread separates the bumbling foolishness of mortals and the cruel whims of the gods » she hissed, the last word dripping with venom. “ And I walk that thread fueled by powers you, child, can faintly comprehend.”

Ignoring the termance in my voice, I managed to ask “How did you end up here then? amidst this…torment?”

“Why don’t I show you?” she whispered, her voice laced with dark amusement.

Before I could protest, she reached out for my hand. She muttered something in a tongue I couldn’t quite decipher, a strange incantation. The world began to wrap and twist, the great sleep, the great forgetting, darkness, then light.

The world solidified again, I was no longer in Tartarus. My body didn’t feel like mine, Stagnant powers lurked within me, Realization dawned on me.

 

I wasn’t looking at Medea anymore, I was Medea.

 

Everything was a blur, experiencing one’s memories through their eyes was nothing short of disorienting. The visions got slightly clearer; A Flash of a golden fleece, the triumphant glint in a pair of unfamiliar eyes. A love so intense it burned. Sacrifices made, yet promises shattered, betrayal, passion morphed into a cage of raging fury, lust for revenge, bloody hands. The smell of death, A chilling satisfaction, A hollow victory, Then back to darkness. 

My eyes fluttered open. I stretched my hands, relieved to feel my own body again.

“How did you do that? Doesn’t being in Tartarus stop you from casting any spells?” I breathe out, still dizzy from the lingering magic.

Medea arched an eyebrow as if I had just asked her the most nonsensical question ever.

“I am a witch, boy. Forever bound to earth. I am tied to the four elements. Tartarus is filled with one of them in all its forms, Fire. My power comes from within. Although this cursed place has tamed it, it could never quench its flames.”

The frustration in her eyes mirrored the confusion churning within me. The visions… hazy fragments that have left me reeling. “I felt them…” I stammered, meeting her gaze, “Your emotions, your rage, as if they were mine.” The weight of a story demanding to be told hung in the air. “Tell me Lady Medea, what has happened to you?”

 

A sigh followed by, then she began to unravel her past before me.

 

“Colchis was my home. Magic flowed through my veins, a birthright passed down from my ancestors. Then came Jason, a Greek hero with eyes that shimmered like the Aegean sea and a smile that promised forever. How foolish I was. For him, I defied my own blood. I won him the golden fleece, a prize named by his uncle in order to reclaim his throne. Looking back now, I realize what a waist of muscles Jason was. Without my magic and my wits, he could’ve never returned to his lands victorious AND unharmed. I vowed to protect him. I fled my home to be by his side. Bloody sacrifices on the altar of his empty ambitions. I was promised by Aphrodite an everlasting love as beautiful as dawn breaking over mount olympus if I aid him in his ‘heroic’ quest. I forgot however that while Jason was the goddess’s chosen, I was nothing but her pawn. A mere puppet that will grant her ephemeral glory once hit by Cupid’s bows. But promises made by the gods are fickle. A lesson I had yet to learn at that age.” 

Medea’s fists clenched, turning her knuckles white. She glared into the distance, as if she was reliving the past.

 

“Another woman caught Jason’s eye upon our arrival to Greece. A princess named Glauce with royal blood and a kingdom to rule over. He cast me aside, leaving me and our children within a blink of an eye . Foolish, foolish man. He had underestimated me, like the rest of them. My grief turned into rage. Revenge became the ultimate goal, a burning ember demanding to burn all it touched. Killing him was never an option. I needed him to feel an ounce of the agony I have felt while breathing still. So I did what had to be done. I took from him what he grew to value most, his new fiancé, her father’s money, and our own offspring. And if I had to, I would do it all over again.”

 

A look of serenity washed over Medea’s eyes. She unclenched her fists, her shoulders relaxed. I waited in silence for her to finish her story.

 

“Heaven and Hell became mere words to me. I fled Corinth, cloaked in the golden chariot my grand-father Helios sent me, leaving Jason a broken shell of the man I once loved. People may call me a villain, a mad woman, the devil incarnate for some, but I call myself a hero. I was the one who won the golden fleece. I have defied dragons and armies, navigated foreign waters alongside Jason’s crew and secured his throne all by myself. I deserved the recognition. I have spent my whole life diluting myself to make it easier to be loved. I have dimmed my magic, a witch masquerading as a human for an oath of eternal happiness. I was more than content with working in the shadows and letting Jason take credit for my mastery if only it meant he would be with me. And what do I get in return? Betrayal. Tragedy is a condition to existence, and I have chosen madness as my defense against it. For the dog that weeps after it kills is no better than the dog that doesn’t. My guilt will not purify me. And I accepted that long ago. Let them fear my wrath, let them whisper of my madness. Let them blindly pretend that all of their favorite heroes haven’t bathed their hands in blood too. But of course, blood doesn’t taint a man’s heroism. When a man seeks vengeance, it’s a mark of strength. When a woman does the same, she’s branded a monster.”

 

She tipped her chin upward, as if addressing the very gods who have betrayed her.

 

“I am no longer a pawn of fates. I am Medea, I am my own person and I shall spend my remaining days here in Tartarus, my new found home, where I truly belong.”

 

I stood there, transfixed. Words failed to decipher what I felt at that moment. Medea eyed me up and down one last time. 

“It’s truly incredible how much you look like Mermerus.” she softly whispered,  “Be careful boy. Don’t trust anyone but yourself down here.”

 

My mind grew heavy with questions left unanswered. I watched as Medea disappeared in the swirling sulfurous mist just as she had emerged from it moments prior.  As I started to make my way back towards the gates, I realized that by simply accepting her fate, this scorned woman has already defied the gods. I may not call her a hero, as she demanded to be called, but she definitely wasn’t a villain either. The very line between good and evil blurred before me. I left Tartarus with a heavy heart and a newfound perspective.

 

 

Written by : Fatma Ben Romdhane.

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