“What happened?!” The Huntress was wondering…
An earthquake happened and everything turned upside down. The Rogue woke up to find that the terrain became pieces of small pillars within a gaping bottomless pit. It looked like the ground was sucked by something sinister.
She stared around and saw that every member of the group was on one hill. They were looking skyward.
The Horizon was collapsing too and the two worlds were seemingly colliding, revealing rains and a dark stormy night.
“Are we returning to reality?!” Wondered the Huntress.
Boran shielded Lazlo who was holding Acina protectively with his peculiar sun fire. However, he said to him:
“Knight of Horis, you have to retreat. That’s not a battle you can fight especially when you have someone to protect.”
“Expect that I can’t do anything while I’m trapped within a small tower of sand that might collapse at any time soon into Tartarus. Perhaps, that’s it for us.” Said Lazlo.
Melvim came at their side using his undead armoured horse.
“My steed will help you get out of here but it will only get you to the nearby village. So you’ll warn the peple to get them out of here before this raging storm consumes them.” Said Melvim.
“Ehh…I guess I can do that. But are you sure that this thing won’t eat us? It’s terrifying and sending chills upon my already dead spine.” Said Lazlo.
“Don’t worry. It won’t harm anyone that doesn’t deserve to be harmed.” Answered the Immortal Prince.
“So, what are you going to do, sir Immortal?” Said Boran.
“Our only hope is in that woman and the book of the dead.”
The wrathful clouds started blasting bolts at the woods causing the forest to burn and not even the rain could stop the blaze of flames.
“Something… something is coming from this massive void.” Realized the Huntress.
From the darkness came the sound of flying wings and eagle-like screams. Whatever it was, it was massive. And soon it appeared: Three horned falcon-like heads, the body of a lion, the front legs of a bird, the rear legs of a land beast and most importantly three couples of angelic white wings. Atop the monster was the Thunderer riding what seemed to be his pet, his state was not however that pleasant. His heavenly aspect was crumbling revealing a terrifying accursed form of pure void and decay.
Perhaps the beast shared the rage of his master and is willing to eat the world together.
The platform where the Huntress was destroyed due to the shockwave caused by the coming of the beast from the Underworld. She fell and could not grasp anything to prevent falling into that bottomless pit. If it weren’t for the Immortal Prince who saved her by dashing through the falling rocks and taking her to safety in the last second.
“You did that because you still need the book.” Said the Huntress as they were watching the Thunderer and his beast flying further and further into the sky to touch the clouds.
“Yes.” Answered the Knight.
“This mad guy is going to destroy everything in his way including the innocents. You have the key to defeat him.” Stated the Sun Knight.
Perun did not let them be and began to blast them with bolts from the high sky. Melvim used his magic and blocked the first, the second, the third… but eventually, they were all knocked out due to the massive impact of the thunder.
“I have no choice but to leave it to you.” Said Melvim.
“What do you mean?!” Asked the Huntress obnoxiously.
“I’ll buy you some time until you take the choice: Do you want to help? Or don’t you?” Said Melvim.
The Coward Prince beheaded himself using his accursed sword much to the surprise of the Huntress and the Sun Knight. Then he took it with his left hand. In fact, the feeble emerald radiation that was coming from his form started to even glow and shine further especially from the helm.
“I will be strong enough to hold him for a moment but it will not be that long. It’s up to you now, woman. The World is at your hands. Do you hold it dear or abandon it?” Said Melvim before mounting his steed who returned after completing its task. The Horseman was galloping across the air to reach the Thunderer and his-three-headed griffin.
The Huntress kneeled to the ground. She really felt he burden of these seemingly short and simple words. It was up to her now.
“But I’m nothing… I was abandoned by this world, never to be remembered again. How can it be possible that I’m the one needed by it? I’m a walking monster and a living nightmare… It can’t be…” Murmured the Huntress.
“Undead Slayer! It’s now or never! Summon the book now! The Immortal Knight will not be able to keep it up with the Thunderer anymore!” Shouted Boran as he was observing the fight between the two legendary beings.
The Huntress watched the enormous battle between the Coward Prince and the Storm Warrior : The Griffin was breathing waves of lightning at its enemy while the Rider was throwing his “head” in a way to how a slinger threw stones at foes.
The Huntress manifested the bag that was carrying the book through her magic and talked to Boran who had the last page:
“Give me that page.”
“Oh, finally, you agreed!” Said Boran happily.
The Huntress used her blood to ‘fuse’ the last page with the rest of the book. But she did not know what to do later.
“Let me handle it from here now. I have a good idea about what must be done.” Said Boran.
“Can you manipulate the necromantic spells?” She asked.
“Not necessarily. Necromancy are one interpretation of the whole thing. I know another one that can be used in our case.”Answered the Sun Knight confidently.
He was invoking strange incantations the Huntress did not understand even though she was an excellent user of Necromancy and Hemomancy.
Suddenly, from the swirling pages emerged a mysterious and sinister serpent.
“Ssss… I never imagined that there will be someone capable of deciphering the true meaning of one of my books.” Spoke the malevolent crawler.
“You are the Serpent Veles, aren’t you?” Said Boran.
“Not precisely, the real Veles is stuck in the Underworld, waiting for a true heir to resurrect him. Could it be that you’re one? But no, you don’t seem to be the case. You’re an heir of Sunlight.” Said the Serpent.
“I want to ask you a question.” Said the Huntress.
“Oh, you’re the one. You’re the one.” Said the Serpent after trying to jump at the Huntress but Boran prevented it from harming her.
“How dare you touch me, a legendary artefact of Master Veles…Sssss…!” Said the Serpent menacingly.
“She wanted a question to be answered, not her brain to be eaten.” Said Boran.
“Sssss… Fine. Go on, chosen one.” Said the Serpent.
“Can I die?” She asked.
“SSSsss… Let’s see. I have no answer for this question. Perhaps, my master has the answer. I can tell you about all sorts of spells, incantations and secrets of necromancy but not this question.” Answered the Serpent.
“Then if I summon your master, the one who created you, will he be able to help me?” Said the Huntress.
“Ssss… Of course! Of course!… He knows way more than me. He knows everything.” Said the Serpent.
“Then how can we summon him?” Asked the Huntress.
“Like what my brother did. Find suitable sacrifices.” Said Boran.
“ Then… one of us… give theirselves… Ssss.” Said the Serpent.
“It will be me.” Said the Huntress.
“But you’re not going to die… your mind will literally be trapped within the summoned forever! You’re prolonging your suffering by doing that!” Said the Sun Knight.
“I don’t care anymore. If that does mean that I will stop existing as myself, then so be it.” Said the Huntress.
The Serpent started crawling around the neck and the head of the Huntress prepared to consume the threads that lurk within her skull. However, …
“I cannot accept that.” The Sun Knight snatched the Serpent with a blinding speed using his flames and started manifesting a ritual.
“What did you do?!” Screamed the Huntress.
“I have to settle the score myself with that arrogant Immortal of Thunder. You cannot do it. You’re too afraid and weak, that’s not something someone like you can do. You’ll be consumed easily by the Serpent himself.”
“I did not care about that. I just wanted it to happen. Can’t you see?” Said the Huntress with regret.
“But I do care, young one. I do care.” Said Boran as he was engulfed with golden flames that started to take an emerald jade color reminiscent to that of Prince Melvim.
“Now, take your distance. He’s resurfacing!!! Go away!” Shouted Boran to warn the Huntress. Indeed, she felt an incredible power similar to that when the Thunderer was summoned.
All the flames that were burning around disappeared suddenly to reveal a handsome young man wearing an outdated scholar uniform. He only had the scepter in the form of a caduceus. Despite his elegance, the Huntress noticed the serpentine aspect of his eyes and was intimidated by them.
“So it was not you after all who resurrected me. What a loss, you would be pretty much the perfect host for me. In fact, the one who summoned me knows his lessons but he’s not compatible with me at all. Well, it’s ok. I will be searching for someone better. Or could it be that you still want to be my pawn?” Said Veles as he suddenly teleported behind her. She could not say a word.
He started touching her neck with both his hands which transformed into little snakes. She was frozen and unable to move even though she tried to do.
“Now, young soul, do you wish to shed this curse that afflicted you for so long? Half-grown Immortal, have you what it takes truly to be a decider?” Said Veles as he spoke tenderly in her ear.
Naturally, she could not answer. She was under a very powerful hallucination.
“Perhaps before you choose, you must have the ability to choose and because of that Humanity sucks. Almost none of them is capable of taking a choice. They’re instinctively content to play the role of pawns and because of that our monopoly, the monopoly of the Immortals exists. We’ll be the ones to beat Fate itself.” Said Veles as his serpentine fingers started crawling to rip off her head.
Only a lingering ember was present at the scepter in the left hand of the Serpent Scholar. It suddenly emitted out a big blaze of golden fire that harmed Veles and not the huntress.
“Oh, man. That man from Dazbog is quite the tenacious one.” Said Veles.
A hectic and low voice came from the scepter:
“No…not only that. I literally possessed your phantom steed.”
Indeed the scepter started melting like it was lava much to the anger of the Serpent Scholar.
“I… I underestimated him. This dead one… how come he’s so strong?” Thought Veles as he was weakening slowly and flames started appearing from everywhere in his outfit.
Not so far from them, Melvim took a powerful strike and fell to the ground like a meteor. At this point, Perun noticed the scent of Veles, his nemesis.
“Damn it… that mad beast of thunder had noticed me… I’m in no way able to fight him for now.” Said Veles as he panicked.
“Veles, you accursed bastard!!” The Thunderer and the Griffin charged at them from above.
From that liquefied matter that was once a scepter, a beam of yellow light appeared that blinded everyone including the Immortals themselves.
When Melvim was regenerating his manifestation after getting defeated again, he saw that light and said:
“That dead one, he really is something special.”
A strange force coming from that light knocked everyone around and from it emerged a giant dragon with fierce wings and scales, only… only his three heads were not well. Two of them were not there to begin with as if they were cut or something and the only central head was mutilated and mutated and did not resemble that of a mighty serpentine being. It was colossal but weak.
“Hahaahahaha! Are you failing again, Veles?” Mocked the Thunderer.
“That’s none of my business, Perun.” Said Veles.
“You damn serpent! Do you think you will be able to run away as always! I will consume your soul now for true!” Shouted Perun as he was trying to pursue his nemesis. However, the malformed dragon stood between him and Veles who disappeared into the forest. The Thunderer threw a bolt at the only remaining head that could still stand.
“Ahh… that’s far from being a challenge.” Said Perun as he witnessed the poor beast collapse because of one strike.
The Huntress was observing the situation while hiding in a nearby bush and Melvim was approaching the Thunderer.
“I have no interest in you for now. You can wait, little loser.” Said Perun as he wanted to keep hunting Veles.
“No, you’re going to die now.” Said Melvim as he charged toward the Thunderer and his griffin.
“Are you that stupid?” Said Perun as his beast unleashed a devastating thunder breath.
Melvim could not stand up again after his attack. It seemed that he reached his limit.
“Hehehe…You’re vulnerable now and I shall consume your soul now.” Said Perun as he choked the knight. Void and dark tendrils came from his hand and started mutilating the chest of the knight in search for his heart.
“I knew it… It was futile. I cannot do anything now. It’s a lost cause. I should have been consumed. I should have been…” Thought the Huntress desperately as she watched Perun absorbing Melvim.
“Why are you saying that? You still can go.” She heard a strange but familiar voice. But she did not seem to see its source.
“Trust yourself. You can beat that monstrous being.” Suddenly she saw someone standing nearby observing the struggle between the Prince and the Thunderer. It was a man in his thirteenth, wearing a leather uniform and equipped with a bow and arrows.
The Huntress could not believe what she saw. It was someone that she knew long ago.
“You have the power of the Witch. You can do it! You’re an Immortal too, you just did not know it before! Go! Save the one who saved you many times before and show the whole world that you can make the choice!” Said the mysterious man.
“But, Scirvir, I cannot do it. I’m terribly weak. I… And how come you’re here, in front of me? Aren’t you-” Stated the Huntress.
“Don’t say any word. Go now!” Said the Hunter.
The Huntress stepped outside wielding her glaive. But she was trembling under fear and despair.
“Oh, I knew you were here. Just wait there I will be done with this idiot in no time.” Said the Thunderer.
The Undead Slayer did not say a word and charged at him much to the shock of the Thunderer.
“Are you mad?! You think you can do anything to harm me?! Futile!!” Said Perun and attempted to strike the Huntress with his Black Axe. But… it was cut. The Huntress stood already behind him. She attacked him without him realizing it already.
Perun released Melvim out of great pain and witnessed his severed arm bleeding out void energy…
“Unexplainable! How come this weakling is able to damage me!? Or is it… the Witch?!” Wondered Perun painfully.
The Huntress came at him with another shadow charge but Perun blocked it using his axe. They exchanged blows for a while before the Undead Slayer proceeded to use the hit and run tactics. Her eyes were glowing with the color of the crimson blood while her weaponry was radiating with the emerald of decay.
“What an annoying brat! Take this!” Perun smashed the ground with his axe summoning a great explosion of electricity. Only it could not do a remarkable thing to the Huntress who casted a shield of dark blood that could protect her.
“You’re not as strong as you was. Your power fell drastically in the real world.” Said the Huntress.
“Hehehe… well, that’s true. I’m still affected by that Demon Brand attack and I have to eat human souls to heal my injury. There’s a nearby village… and battling you won’t perhaps lead me to a decisive victory. Perhaps, Veles is watching us from afar and after he found me weakened, he would then decide to consume me. So I’m going to have a feast before I finish you all.” Perun said and then whistled for his griffin to take him to the sky toward the village.
“What a coward!” Said the Huntress.
“That’s my duty now.”
The defeated malformed dragon reignited with flames. His two missing heads regenerated into that of a flame bird. It suddenly was able to stand and fly to pursue the Thunderer.
“What?! That Dragon is still moving?! And what’s with these flames coming from it?” Perun was shocked seeing the three headed dragon coming at him. He ordered his griffin to return and blast him with lightning. However, the dragon did just aim to make the Thunderer fall and prevent him from going to the village and so it struck the griffin in the heart using all of its heads.
The two colossal beings fell to the ground and caused the earth to tremble slightly. The Huntress followed to see what did happen to Perun.
Perun was finishing off his foe with the axe but at the same time, it seemed that his beast was a goner too. It was melting and becoming dust.
“Damn you… Damn you. I will kill you all… I will kill you all!” Perun was shouting in madness as his body continued to decay and lose the last bit of “divinity” it had. He looked now no different than a zombie or even worse.
The Huntress sneaked at him and used that unique spell of hers: she summoned the Death Key and struck the heart of the Immortal from behind his back.
“You became so weak that you could not sense me. Die.” Said the Huntress.
“You mongrel… Do you think you can finish the Great Perun so easily?! Aaaaghh…” Screamed the Thunderer in agony.
However, he summoned the last bit of lightning he had and knocked her away.
“I… I have- I want souls. I want more souls, otherwise I will return to being a mortal. Oh… It can’t be… why would this happen to me? After all the great things I did… why would you abandon me, Great One?” Said Perun barely.
“It’s settled then, I will consume you, mongrel. You’re the pawn of the Witch and so you must have a lot of threads.” Said Perun desperately.
“Try me.” Said the Huntress confidently.
The one handed giant warrior charged at her using his axe but he was even slower than before. The Huntress attempted to cut his head but he could evade her and strike her his weapon’s hilt. Perhaps, a warrior’s brilliance comes at its best when he is close to death.
“That was clever. I shall not underestimate him for my Death Key could not finish him like any other Undead.” Said the Huntress.
“I can’t be beaten… I’m Perun the Great Warrior; the Hero of Thunder and the Slayer of Dragons… I can’t be possibly done for. We have our fates in our hands. There’s no return to such state of mortality… This can’t be…” Uttered Perun as he was recollecting all of his remaining strength.
The two charged at each other. It was perhaps the decisive moment of the whole battle.
The Huntress lost her right hand and with her weapon. They both flew into the air and with this she started bleeding intensively. The Dragon Slayer took a large sweep to his side that made him bleed more void energy but it was not enough to stop him from moving.
“And that’s the difference between the mortals and the Immortals. You’re the slaves of fate while we’re its rulers.” Said Perun as he was approaching the Huntress who was lamenting her lost arm. She could regenerate it though but surely the Thunderer would not allow her to do.
“Maybe, I’m still nothing after all. I’m sorry, Scirvir.” Thought the Huntress sadly.
The neighing of a horse was heard so close from them. It was the Coward Prince. Perun was in great panic and attempted to stop this surprise attack. Alas, Melvim impaled him with Death Brand and dragged him into the dirt before throwing him away.
“You lost, Perun.” Said Melvim.
Like the many undead and the many accursed creatures before, the body of the Thunderer started melting.
“This… this can’t be… I’m an Immortal! I’m an-“ Melvim cut the head of Perun and ended it once and for all. The Thunderer was no more.
To be continued…
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How to Build an Authentic Life
Warning: This is an 11-minute read article. So grab a coffee, tea, or whatever you fancy and sit down 😉 If you don’t have time, you can bookmark it for later. With that aside, let’s begin!
Four years ago, I was stuck.
I was living like shit. Eating, sleeping, studying, and repeating. I barely had a life outside of high school.
I was lazy, unhealthy, and a little overweight. I had Moobs (short for man boobs — add that to your dictionary) and felt anxious in my body.
I was also very lonely. Despite knowing a lot of people thanks to my extroverted nature, I barely had any real friends.
I would go out sometimes but with people I didn’t really like nor trust, hating every moment of it because I knew I deserved better. I blamed luck for not bringing me the perfect friends with whom I could share my highs and lows.
Being a person who enjoys social interactions, I never had problems making friends. However, I didn’t know how to build real connections with the “friends” that I made. And that left me surrounded by people yet alone.
I also suffered from a poor self-image. I envied those who achieved great things in their lives and wished if I can be like them.
I knew there was something wrong. I knew I needed to do something because loneliness was eating me alive and my weight was decreasing my lifespan.
Saying goodbye to my old people and entering a whole new world called college was not helping me in any way too.
Someday while browsing the net, I came across Mark Manson’s blog (before he became a best-selling author). That was when everything changed.
Mark empathizes that the way to live an authentic life and build meaningful relationships is through this special quality called “vulnerability”.
He defines vulnerability as the act of expressing oneself with its imperfection openly and unapologetically. It’s the state of being your true self and living according to what is right to you, without shame or fear of being judged.
That’s when I became interested in this vulnerability thing. I decided that I need to give it a try. I had nothing to lose anyway.
Fast forward to today, I can confidently say that vulnerability has completely changed my life:
- My confidence has increased tremendously. I’m no longer afraid to be myself and stand for what I believe in.
- I’m no longer in a rush to prove myself to others. I’m taking my time achieving my own goals at my own pace.
- I’m more active than ever. I lost weight, built some muscle and feel much more confident in my body.
- I have made some cool friends who believe in me, keep me company, and constantly push me outside my comfort zone.
- I can openly express myself without feeling ashamed of anything (the fact that I’m writing this article is proof). I no longer hide from my emotions and weaknesses. I learned to embrace them and accept them as a part of being a human.
- I learned to go after what I want boldly and unapologetically.
- I’m actively experimenting with myself and trying everything that sparks my interest.
In a nutshell, I’m living an honest and authentic life that is according to what I think is right. Not to other people’s definition of what is right.
A lot of things have happened in the last 3 years. There was a lot of struggles and painful periods, but I pushed through them and grew stronger as a result.
But enough talking about me, there is something more important we need to discuss.
The Life We Didn’t Choose
Most of us go through our lives taking the road of safety and convention. Doing exactly as what we are told by figures we consider to be superior like parents, teachers, society…etc.
We play the safe game and never question whether we really like it or not.
If I give you a ball and tell you to shoot it as far as you can. Then pick it up, go back to the starting position and shoot it again. You’ll do it a few times, maybe you’ll spend an hour on it if you’re persistent (and have no life). Eventually, you’ll grow bored and go home.
If, however, I give you a ball and ask you to come up with a game on your own. You create the rules. Go ahead and be creative and make your own ball game. Then invite your friends for a match.
I bet all my savings that even if your friends disliked this game, you will never grow bored of it because it’s a game you created with your own rules. Your own authentic creation.
That’s exactly the same thing with life. If we live a life that was handed to us by others and which we didn’t choose, we will never feel fulfilled and we’ll start hating ourselves for it.
We’ll start to think we’re failures because we don’t win at the game we were given. We’ll try hard to succeed, only to realize that we don’t even want to.
For instance, I used to think that success is all about achieving academic excellence. Being brought up by parents who finished their education and worked hard to bring food to our table has influenced their thinking about success and mine as a consequence.
It was until I finally decided to question my old life that I really did see the fault in this thinking. I respect everyone’s view and I believe that education is important for the development of a well-balanced individual. But I dare say that after high school, it becomes merely a way to get a job and doesn’t offer much growth.
Anyways, the point is if we still measure ourselves to a life we didn’t choose, we’ll never feel like we can be successful. And even if we do succeed, it will be a short-lived dopamine high before we start questioning if that was even worth it in the first place.
It’s time we turn the tables on the game we were handed and decide to create our own game rules instead.
And that is only possible through vulnerability.
On Being Vulnerable
According to Google, vulnerability is the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.
Since we no longer live in caves, we are interested in the “being exposed to emotional attack” part here.
You see, questioning the safe way and deciding to create your own is hard. It’s so hard actually that you’ll suffer a lot from criticism, rejection, judgment and even self-doubt.
Being vulnerable means that you understand this and are willing to pay the price to get to where you want.
Let me repeat that again, vulnerability is being okay with getting rejected, ridiculed, judged, and in some cases, accused of madness.
Anything in life that is worth doing involves being exposed to emotional pain.
Standing up for yourself leaves you exposed to ridicule and judgment.
Asking your crush out leaves you exposed to rejection and heartbreak.
Sharing your secrets and feelings with your friends leaves you exposed to envy and disloyalty.
All those are painful emotions. But the acts are worth it.
If you don’t stand up for what you believe, you’ll be a doormat and will never get the respect you want.
If you don’t ask your crush out, you’ll waste a lot of time fantasizing about someone who may or may not reciprocate your feelings.
If you don’t share yourself with your friends, they’ll never trust you enough to become your real buddies (a secret I learned the hard way).
All those are vulnerable acts because you are ‘exposed’ to emotional pain every time you do them.
The more worthwhile the act is, the more vulnerable it will leave you, thus the greater the exposed pain and potential for growth.
More worthwhile = More vulnerable = Greater pain = Greater growth
So, how can vulnerability help you create an authentic life?
Any authentic life involves around doing activities that are authentic to the person involved. By their nature, authentic acts are vulnerable acts because they require that you risk embarrassing yourself and looking stupid to others every time you do them.
To put it in a simple framework, an authentic life consists of 3 main areas:
Let’s go through each one of them in more details.
It’s literally anything that makes you unique and differentiates you from the masses.
Your hobbies, the clothes you wear, the food you eat, your music taste, whether you watch Game of Thrones or Chernobyl, your favorite sport, your job/study field, your ambitions and dreams, your opinions about the world, your philosophy, the friends you hang out with, the books you read, your volunteering experience, …etc.
If you have little to no care for the above things (apart from the GOT or Chernobyl thing which you don’t need to care about — I don’t), then you really got some work to do.
What are your hobbies? Photography? Guitar? Maybe rock climbing? How about camping? Take your time to explore various activities. The possibilities are endless.
If you think there is some area that needs improvement in your lifestyle, start searching for ways to improve it. Use the internet to your advantage (Quick fact: do you know that you can use the internet to browse websites other than FB/Instagram/Youtube? Trust me, a lot of people don’t know that).
Remember that those things are vulnerable because you’re challenging yourself to grow and learn more about the world around you. You’re cultivating new opinions, challenging your own limiting beliefs and replacing them with healthy alternatives.
This is where you’ll actually build your vulnerability muscle (aka courage).
This area includes activities that get you out of your comfort zone and expose you to great emotional pain.
It may include:
- Asking your crush out (and accepting her/his response graciously and moving on rather than wasting time in fantasy).
- Cutting off bad relationships and toxic people
- Forcing yourself to socialize more and meet new people
- Joining a gym and embarrassing your way out of the badly-designed machines (currently happening to me)
- Taking leadership roles within your club/organization/job…etc
- Exploring a new career/study field
- Starting a business (if that’s what you’re into)
- Talking in front of a group of people
Basically, it’s about going boldly after what you want.
Remember that your vulnerability/courage muscle is just like a real muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it becomes. So start small and keep gradually challenging yourself and exploring your limits.
I promise you, by regularly training your courage muscle, things that once felt impossible to do will slowly start to become less and less intimidating.
Here comes the hardest part of all the three.
What do I mean by Authentic Communication?
Have you ever felt so self-conscious when talking to someone that you start to stutter or in an attempt to not embarrass yourself by saying something stupid, you don’t say anything at all?
It sucks. We all have experienced that. Especially when talking to a person we admire or secretly crush on, it can intensify and become real torture! You start to question where has your personality been when you needed it the most or why are you such a failure you can’t talk properly to the person in front of you?
On the other hand, have you ever experienced having a spontaneous conversation with someone that words just flew out naturally without you caring about a thing? You know, when you felt completely present and your head was minding its own business and not nagging at you in the background? You joked, teased, played, and expressed yourself authentically when you were in this state.
What is the difference between the two scenarios? It’s how you think about the situation.
In the first scenario, you were putting the other person on a pedestal and you worried if you can’t impress him/her. You started to see the conversation in a logical way using your brain to tell you what’s the next best thing to say/do in order to come closer to your goal of making a good impression and avoid getting rejected.
In the second scenario, you let your creative side take care of everything. You didn’t worry about “conquering the conversation” or “scoring points” because you didn’t see it in a logical way. You didn’t worry about getting rejected or saying something weird. You were just being yourself, saying what’s on your mind even if it may expose you to getting rejected (again, being vulnerable).
Ironically, this would actually make you leave a far better impression than you would if you take it logically.
You see, human relationships are based on emotions. How you make people feel is far more important than ‘what you bring to the table’. There is a reason why a comedian has more followers and fans than, say, a scientist.
Emotions aren’t logical. They are to be felt and not to be processed. Thus it doesn’t make any sense to try to build real life-long relationships through braining your way to people’s hearts.
The only way to attract new relationships and nurture existing ones is through emotions.
You elicit emotions in other people by truly expressing yourself, openly, unashamedly.
By becoming spontaneous and uninhibited, you open doors to amazing conversations that would never occur if you tried to plan your words.
Showing who you are, exposed, uninhibited, is the only way to truly change your relationships and life in general.
By becoming good at expressing your emotions, you learn how to elicit emotions in the people of your life and strengthen your relationships as a result. That’s Authentic Communication.
Now, how do you express yourself authentically?
Again, by accepting that rejection, ridicule, and judgment are inevitable.
You know the classic truth “Not everyone will like you”. I’d like to take it further and add “And that’s okay!” to it.
Transitioning from a people-pleaser who is always agreeable to someone who is unpretentious and says what’s on his mind is hard at first. Because you’ve got to give up on the need to be liked by everyone. No one, apart from little cute babies, is adored by everyone. You got to shove this fact into your damn skull and learn to live with it.
But it’s not bad, really. When you express yourself fully and without inhibitions, you indirectly say to the world “I’m an amazing person, as unique as a unicorn. Take me or leave me, I’m fine anyways.” This will result in one of these two scenarios:
- Some people will dislike you (inevitable)
- A lot of people will love you so damn much
Instead of being a people pleaser and end up on a third scenario where “no one loves you nor dislikes you”, you’re setting yourself to meet your own people, those who are proud to be with you and enjoy your company to the fullest.
I am glad I made the effort to find my people. I made some enemies along the way but again, the result is worth the price.
So be a unique guy/girl, say weird things, ask stupid questions, ask deep questions, tease and be playful with others. You’ll filter those who are so boring to appreciate your uniqueness and keep those who will love you until the end.
If you’re reading this, that means that you made it through this long text, Thank you very much!!
As we’ve seen, the path towards building an authentic life is through putting yourself into situations that leave you vulnerable to emotional pain.
Living an authentic life requires that you work on the three major areas: Authentic Lifestyle, Authentic Action, and Authentic Communications.
Keep in mind that the point here is not to to be perfect in all the three, but to strike a balance between them.
In the end, choosing to go against the current and design your own game rules is difficult. Not everybody is ready for it.
Nevertheless, I hope I encouraged you to take a deeper look at your current life and see if it lacks your personal touch. If that’s the case, boy, you got some work to do!
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