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Sex! That word scares you doesn’t it? As soon as you read it, you felt peculiar. We all do understand why this word scares us. It’s all due to the society we live in but I’m not here to talk about that. I’m going to talk about something scarier than that: Nymphomania.

“Distress about a pattern of repeated sexual conquests with a succession of individuals who exist only as things to be used” that’s how American Psychiatric Association classified nymphomania in 1980.

Sexual insatiability is the most common symptom of this condition along with recurrent and intense sexual fantasies, sexual urges, or sexual behaviors; there is also the practice of self-pleasure through masturbation. Although some women who identify as nymphomaniac desist from the act of masturbation for the reason that it self-satisfaction doesn’t bring them pleasure, most of these women are submissive.

Nymphomania is not listed as a clinical diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). Nevertheless, some psychologist lists it as a psychological condition. I think it’s as dangerous as any other psychological disease because it gets into your mind. It sustains its victim from doing most of the normal activities that an individual should do; affecting their ability to work, to judge, to maintain a relationship or most importantly to maintain life.

Sexual addiction prevents people from managing their sexual behavior. Why it happens is unclear. Some of the nymphomaniac women have never been molested or sexually abused and never faced any sort of domestic instability. However, some of them have been exposed to sexual harassment at a young age and most of them went through unbalanced relationships with family members, which is the biggest cause of sexual imbalance.

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« what are you so afraid of losing when nothing in this world belongs to you. »

I think of this quote way often, way more than i should.
Every time the sunset is too beautiful, the trees cast the shadows on the streets, and i catch myself missing old versions of me, of how everything used to be .. every time a train passes by and i just stand there, standing still in a world that’s constantly moving forward.

Every time i raise my eyes to the vast deep blue sky and the stars are flickering with light, a passionate light, showering the world with their magic. Every time the moon is following me down a long heavy road from home to home — a feeling I’ll never get used to. Every time i catch a bird doing its little dance in the misty rain and it all feels a bit too good to be true .. every time a familiar face passes next to me on a road busy with people, with life.

Every time i feel safe, scared, hopeful .. every time i feel, i am reminded of how « nothing in this world belongs to me, and i belong to everything. » Of how i have nothing to lose yet everything to experience .. what a wonderful gift it is that none of this grief i carry between the palms of my hands belongs to me, none of this beauty around me belongs to me. I get to live through it all. I get to experience it all.

Written by: Hadil Khalili

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