« You have a gorgeous smile baby, I don’t want to see you cry, I want you to study hard .. and never stop chasing your dreams, you are beautiful and strong, mom will be back, I will get better okay? Now go, you need to go home now baby, be careful. »

Was that too long for what we call last words?

Could I even answer?

Words I could never forget, I may not remember her voice; but  at least her face will remain forever in my mind… The way she smiled at me after saying that and while I had to go, they took her away for 12 days and then God took her away forever… I lost her and It gets harder to live without her every day…

Maybe I felt lost or sad at that time… But not as much as I do now…

I was just a little 10-year-old child… I didn’t even believe it… I couldn’t kiss her anymore… Or feel that tenderness no one but her could give… What I can only do right now is to stare at her picture… Blink twice then cry helplessly…

Years and years passed faster than I thought they would and it became a daily pain that I got used to, a part of me… Just like she was. She used to be my twin, my guardian angel.

I became « emotionless », well at least that’s what you see, that’s what it seems to be… But it’s nothing but a helpless mask I had to wear just to hide every scream and every secret teardrop. That was what I chose as an escape from an endless hemorrhage within me, tearing me apart.

This isn’t just about me, it’s about everyone who feels the same. Everyone whose parents were taken away by death.

As I may call us feathers covered with steel..

Death is inevitable but its impact is destructive and immortalized in our thoughts. However, we keep moving forward enjoying our youth knowing that we will face that decay either way.

I call out for anyone who lost someone close to them and all of a sudden everything felt different, dull and dreary.

Feel better. Sorrow will devour you if you don’t fight it back with joy , hope , success and faith.

Write, sing, paint, crystallize your moments through that and crystallize the memory of people you love through that.

It works.