An Intoxicating Infatuation

It was a cold night. The air was crisp. I smoked my cigarette while observing how the smoke curls under the dim street lights.
«And what am I, darling?»
The song « Cheers Darling » could be heard calmly playing in the bar in front of me.
I watched as the people inside drank their sadness away. Green bottles huddled together on the table. The laughter was so loud.
Are they this happy when they get out of this place? I wondered.
That question led me to question the existence of this myth called happiness.
Such a typical question. So many typical answers.
Am I happy?
I took a pull of my cigarette before I stubbed it out.
It felt like it’s going to be a long night.
I sat down and observed that familiar place.
I remember the first time I went to that bar.
It was a November night. I was out with some friends. The cold, stormy weather was unbearable that we entered through that door.
And it was the start of a never-ending ache that I had to live with.
As we sat down, I couldn’t help but hear an entrancing sound of girl singing;
«Cheers darling, you gave me three cigarettes to smoke my tears away.»
As I followed the source of that hypnosis, my eyes laid over the most beautiful creature on earth. She was a fascination. Her eyes were closed as she sang, her words were laced with emotions.
My heartbeat was out of control. As I began to memorize her features; Her olive skin filled with dark freckles, her light brown curly hair bouncing left and right as she rocked back and forth.
Everybody was watching her, but I was studying.
Never have I thought God could create such a beautiful creature.
And as she opened her eyes, oh my Lord as she opened them, the green orbs penetrated my soul, stabbing my insides.
She looked warmly at the audience and smiled a smile that warmed my heart. The cold was long forgotten.
But then I came back to reality. I was still in front of that bar remembering memories that should have been long forgotten.
I continued walking home.
And bits of my soul died with every step I took.