For the new fighter

So… You did it! You are following your dream: studying at the university you chose! Even if it cost you leaving your family, even if it cost you leaving home…

Now you cook by yourself, you shop for yourself, by yourself. You do laundry, you pay bills, you started doing the little things you used to ignore; learning things about life you never knew.

I bet you were so excited that you were going to be finally “free”. And yeah, you kind of are. You are relying on yourself, you are making your own decisions, you are a grown-up now!

But sometimes, when all you want is a hug from a family member, a kiss from your mother, a hand caressing your hair… When all you want is someone far away, you suddenly feel very lonely. You realize that even if you are living in the most comfortable, beautiful places, it’s not home and it’s never going to be.

Do you remember when you used to complain about not having your privacy? When you used to complain about your noisy siblings? Do you remember locking your room and wanting to stay alone? Well, congratulations, you are now alone!

I am not telling you this to make you feel sad or make you cry like I used to. I know how it sucks to walk alone when you are not feeling good, how hard it is to be sick and not have anyone there beside you, how you go to the park just to see little kids that remind you of your siblings, to see happy families and think about yours… I know how it sucks to miss your loved one’s birthday, how all you can have with them now is a low quality video call.

Even if you are not seeing it right now, all this pain will make you grow. There is a family that believes in you, that wants nothing but your happiness, that wants to see you successful.

Yeah, you are alone right now… But someday you are going to make your family proud! And it‘s worth all the sacrifice you are making.

I wish I can give you any advice on how you can go through this journey. But I can’t. Simply, because I am still fighting as well! All I can do is end up with a saying by Maya Angelou « You can never go home again, but the truth is you can never leave home, so it’s all right!”

Dear new fighters, welcome to the club!